


Gossip (Or how Daryl learned not to pry into Ky Kiske’s personal life)

by rex101111



Category: Guilty Gear
Genre: Based on a B99 joke and a very specific Overwatch fan comic, Crack, Daryl did not deserve this but it had to happen to someone, Gen, Ky and Dizzy are...energetic, Ky shares what he had for dinner yesterday with Daryl, this is nonsense, you'll know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 10:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17201747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rex101111/pseuds/rex101111
Summary: Daryl overhears gossip involving Ky Kiske and his newly revealed wife that are of a...racy nature, and inquires about it with the man himself. He, unfortunately, lives to regret it.





	Gossip (Or how Daryl learned not to pry into Ky Kiske’s personal life)

Being a leader of any sort was no easy task, especially if you were taking your position and all the responsibility it implied seriously. Daryl, third King of the United Kingdom of Illyria, was one such person.

Stone faced, pragmatic, and ruthless. Such words had been used by both his allies and enemies to describe him, and truth be told none of them were far off, but hardly told the whole story. Daryl, like any person, is more than what he shows to the public, little as he appeared in public at all. He felt of every decision he made, grand and small, and he had more than his fair share of regrets and failures over his political career.

He also had a sense of humor, odd as that sounded, which he found himself using more and more these days. Surviving the near extinction of the entire human race, twice, seemed to get him to lighten his grip and enjoy his time a bit more, knowing it could be snatched from his hands at any moment.

He could have lived without that _pudding_ incident though…

Similarly, his working relationship with his two equals, Ky Kiske and Leo Whitefang, had also improved somewhat. When before they could certainly come to terms with minimal hostility, they were hardly friendly with each other.

Not to say he didn't _respect_ his fellow Kings, both of them honored members of the Crusade against Justice and the Gears, both of them compassionate leaders with shrewd minds and steely conviction. They had their differences though, Ky with his soft touch and nearly overbearing sympathy and Leo with his loud bluster and straightforward attidue had clashed on more than one occasion with Daryl's pragmatism.

Still they did their jobs as the people needed from them.

After the Valentine incident though, things got a bit of a shakeup, to put it mildly.

One of those things being Dizzy Kiske, the long hidden wife of the first King, and who just so _happened_ to be the daughter of Justice herself, coming out of nowhere to save civilians in the capitol from the sudden appearance of gigantic Gears.

Her actions earned her the kind of admiration and, more importantly, good press that most politicians would kill for. Instead of being shunned for being a monster, she was praised as a _goddess_ and _heavenly maiden_ , quickly raising to prominence in the public eye as things settled down.

She even managed to find a place at meeting tables and conferences alongside her husband, sharing her thoughts and surprising many cabinet members, Daryl included, with some rather shrewd ideas for solutions both long and short term for the fallout resulting from the Valentine incidents.

She even smiled at Daryl _after_ she was informed that he tried to shot both her husband, child, _and_ father with a giant laser weapon. She was a natural diplomat, Mrs. Kiske.

One thing that Daryl found rather displeasing about her appearance, though no fault of her own, was the sudden increase in _gossip._ Daryl always found such things juvenile and kept his distance from it, but as soon as people noticed how _close_ the married couple were, how the normally calm and noble Ky seemed to melt and laugh in her presence, while Dizzy seemed to blush at the tiniest amount of attention from her husband, the gossip became impossible to escape.

Especially gossip about what the wedded couple _got up to_ in private.

Daryl had to put his foot down when some of his _personal aids_ started milling about it _right outside his office._ He simply _did not need_ to know how loud Mrs. Kiske could or could not get. That was information he could go _his entire life_ without knowing.

The only reason he could stand to look Ky in the eyes during today's meeting was because Dizzy was oddly absent. Especially odd because the meeting concerned the status of the Japanese colonies, which was a subject she seemed rather personally invested.

Odd enough that he was compelled to ask Ky himself about it as the meeting adjourned.

That, was a mistake.

"Is your wife well Ky?" He asked as he walked over to the first King, who was in the middle of getting his papers back in order in his file. "I expected her to attend today, considering the subject."

"Dizzy?" Ky mumbled distractedly, shuffling his papers, "oh right, she _did_ want to come." He smiled faintly, reaching for the folder. "She had a rather long night yesterday, unfortunately, so she's resting at home."

"Long night?" Daryl asked, scratching his chin ,"huh, I suppose  the rumors are-" He stopped himself when he saw Ky blinking at him, thus making him realize he just say that out loud. "Uh-"

"Rumors?" Ky asked, clearly concerned, "are people spreading rumors about Dizzy?" Ky's face hardened, voice going cold, "Daryl, what are people saying about my wife?"

"Relax!" Daryl hissed quickly, raising his hands in a placating gesture. "Just some average workplace gossip Ky, nothing malicious."

The First King let out a sigh of relief, before cautiously looking back at Daryl, "…what sort of gossip, exactly, so I could prepare myself?"

"Mostly ones involving you and your wife." Daryl uttered blandly with an eyebrow raised, "for example, I'm guessing her being absent will add fuel to the fire regarding the rumor of how… _loud_ you wife could be."

Ky paled, "oh dear God." He rubbed his face with another sigh, this time laced with dejection, before turning to Daryl again. "Where did you hear _that_ lovely little tidbit?"

"From my personal assistants." Daryl muttered, feeling a bit vindicated at the apologetic flinch the other man gave him. "Who, apparently, heard it from the kitchen staff, who heard from the cleaning crew, who heard from the gardeners, who heard from-"

"-my personal aids, got it." Ky rubbed his forehead with an embarrassed smirk, "I suppose I should apologize to them for that, all that noise must have cost them an hour or two of sleep."

Daryl nodded absently, "of course, it's only right that you-" He stopped, something in what Ky said not adding up, "wait, why should _you_ apologize exactly?"

"Simple, I'm the reason Dizzy made that much noise."

Daryl blinked, not following. "You-"

"It's just that Dizzy tends to get a bit out of hand when I'm eating her ass."

Daryl paled ten shades whiter; his tongue stuck itself to the roof of his mouth, his mind reeling back as if stricken by a baseball bat. He must have misheard, Ky's voice was as soft and polite as it always had been, he had to have misheard. "W-what did you-"

"You heard me Daryl." Ky intoned calmly, voice level as he went back to getting his paper in order. "I was eating her ass. I _love_ eating her ass." He grabbed the folder and placed the papers inside with a gentle smile on his face as Daryl stood gargoyle-like over him. "I think about it morning, noon, and night." He placed the folder under his arm and stood up, smile flat and unmoving, as he looked Daryl right in the eye. "In fact, I'm thinking about it _right now."_

"Y-you-" Daryl choked on thin air, unable to reconcile what Ky was saying with _how_ he was saying it, as if this conversation wasn't threatening to crack his mind in half. "What a-are you-"

 "You know that new song some of the younger civilians are singing these days?" Ky went on, as if he didn't hear Daryl sputter in utter dismay. "It has a line that goes 'somebody point me to the best ass eater'? That's me Daryl." His smile was a finely sharpened razor blade as he said the next few words that would change how his fellow King would view him for the rest of his days. " _I am the best ass eater."_

An eternity passed between them, their conversation unheard by the rest of room, the other occupants leaving or in a far enough corner to miss it. Daryl simply stared at Ky Kiske, greatest hero of the Crusades, a man who stood shoulder to shoulder with people who could topple mountains.

He had never feared the man more than in this very instant.

Never had he felt such intense hatred towards him either.

"Why?" He hissed between his teeth, clenching his fists while raising one of them level with Ky's face. "Why on earth would you tell me this?"

"Because Daryl." Ky replied cleanly, voice utterly unrepentant, face serene and noble as you please. "No one will _ever_ believe you."

And then he walked away, brushing past the catatonic Daryl on his way out of the room, presumably to go back home.

To his wife.

So he could eat her-

"Sick son of a _bitch."_ The third King hissed as Ky exited the room with a friendly wave in his direction before disappearing from sight. He punched the conference table in frustration, mentally canceling every meeting and appointment he had for the next few days so he could drown this information out of his head with alcohol.

Or pudding. Pudding always made everything better.

"Daryl!" A growling voice shouted at him, turning in the direction of it revealed it to be the second King, Leo Whitefang, large fur coat and trimming rumbling along as he strode towards him. "You alright? You look kinda pale."

Daryl considered telling Leo, telling him _everything_ , but as he looked at his face, his big, dumb, honest face, he just couldn't bring himself to cause the man such suffering. So instead he simply shook his head. "I'm _fine_ Leo, just having a…long, _long_ day is all."

"You sure?" Leo asked in concern, stepping closer to get a better look, only to flinch away as Daryl glared at him with a scowl. "Alright! Alright I'll give you space." He shook his head and crossed his arms. "Seriously though, you sure you're okay? Just looks like something's  _eating_ you-"

Leo will never know why Daryl punched him all of a sudden that day, hard enough to make him see stars and rub his jaw.

Neither will he know why he punched him _again_ after he asked him what _crawled up his ass_ this morning.  


End file.
